INTEGRATED HEALING

Author Archives: Mai Koitabashi

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日本語 I thought I wasn’t avoiding it, but as a matter of fact, I was. It was mostly anger, lately.
Because negative emotions are so painfully uncomfortable in our body and heart,  we think we don’t want to feel it.
And of course, we want to focus on “positive thinking”, right?

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日本語 Did you travel to somewhere lately? What did you feel about the energy there?

Today, I want to share with you my personal thoughts about Energy of Places.

It was a few years ago that I started to notice this. Whenever I came back from my sister’s home, I felt exhausted in my body. My sister and I have a great relationship, we always have a good time together. But what is this? Why am I so tired? I couldn’t find a reasonable answer for a long time. Continue reading


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日本語 I had a chance to receive a session of IH from a practitioner who I respect so much.
The issue was my stuffy nose. (again!)
Her session is like a bulldozer, it digs in my subconscious mind with full power.
What came up as a blockage that prevents me from breathing in freely was a self-limiting belief.
It is a false belief that some adults told you when you were a child, and that belief still exists in your subconscious mind and limits your possibility now.

What my subconsciousness believed was the words that my parents and school environment told me long time ago.
“you play the piano so bad”
“you are worthless”
= I am unworthy.

When there is a limiting-belief in somewhere in your mind, there is a limited-function somewhere in your body as well.
In my case it appears as nostril’s inflammation, since that is the most sensitive part in my body.

In the IH session, she got rid of the frequency of my self-limiting belief and I released “being a victim of my parents”.

To me, the healing that IH brings always links to the current situation in my life and that interacts with my everyday, then it leads to another aha-moment or a new challenge, or another level of healing.

This time, I got so depressed after the session.

The past 4 years I practiced energy medicine and received so many IH sessions as well as EFT, got rid of many blockages that I held on to and I am getting to love myself unconditionally.
But then, still didn’t I release the issue with my parents completely?!
I was very disappointed of myself when I found out it was still there in me.
Can’t believe how slow my growth is! I don’t know what to do with me anymore!
Well, this was exactly “self-judgement” and not the unconditional love that I talk about, but couldn’t help myself.

So, I asked my guide who always gives me a great advice and awareness.
What is wrong with me? What should I do now?

And she answered.

The relationship with your parents, including all the good and bad built who you are, what kind of person you are now.
Releasing such big issues is better to take a long time.
Release one by one what doesn’t serve you anymore and keep only the good in you as you change yourself step by step.
Even a lack of confidence can be a person’s charm some time in his life even though we think it’s an undesirable trait.
It was your warmth and love for your parents that didn’t release the limiting-belief from them. It was an undesirable belief, but gave your humanity a depth.
So it’s Ok to take some time to release.

……..Ok.
I said to myself “you grow way too slow!! How long are you taking to release the past completely!?”
But, even the negative belief was an essence to build who I am today, including this warmth in me.

To love yourself including all the good and bad you have today is a magic to change all of your past to blessings.

Even the imperfection that you have is not an unnecessary essence but it’s a part of you, and it is a process of your big growth, your life.
So, I re-realized that my imperfection is just perfect as it is.

Step by step, I change to a greater me.

This unconditional love, I believe it’s Ok you don’t get it at the first place. I, too, couldn’t even have an idea of loving myself 4years ago.
But with the support of IH, EFT, and meditation etc, the love is instilled in me slowly.

IH is a very useful tool to get rid of negative beliefs and blockages that we don’t even notice that we have in our subconscious mind.
To love yourself more,
live your life brighter, lighter, and enjoy more,
IH is here to support you with a clear compass = your own body!


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日本語 So I tried the 3rd step.
What does “pissed off” really mean? I looked for the other emotions behind  the “pissed off”.
And this process is very easy while you are tapping, it will naturally pop up.
But it’s important NOT TO FOCUS ON THE OTHER PERSON’S BEHAVIOR.
Stop blaming for a second and keep tapping to go deep in your mind…

What came up was a guilt, in this case.
I could have been nicer to them but I chose not to.
And maybe I should’ve been nicer.
When I found that emotion within me, I realized the person who I needed to forgive was not them but myself.
And there were two forgiveness.
One is for the hope that I want to be more peaceful person.
And the other one is…

Let me explain a little bit. What the people were doing on that day was a manipulation.
Some people show their unhappy feelings by being grumpy and try to make you feel guilt for them without saying a word.
My mother used to do that often.
“ I am not happy and a victim, because you didn’t do things that I wanted you to do.”
It’s a silent pressure to control others.

Here the point is, I CHOSE unconsciously to deal with their manipulation.
I am not that child who was afraid of her mother anymore, so I don’t need to feel guilt because someone else is grumpy. My feelings don’t need to be affected by other people’s mood.
If we see a pothole there, we can simply walk aside, rather than to fall into the hole, right?
So, the other forgiveness that I needed to do was forgiving myself for choosing to be a victim of other people’s manipulation.

Then at last, we focus on how we want to be from now.

I am powerful enough not to be affected by other people’s behavior.
Making them feel good is not my job.
It’s only them who can make themselves feel good.
And my only responsibility is, to make myself feel good.
And only then, my presence can make someone feel better.

tap tap…. Whew, finally I feel eased. Now I can go to bed!

Tomorrow is a new day!


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It was a full moon. Did something trigger you?

The full moon pulls up the tiny dirt of your mind to the surface that is normally hiding below your conscious mind. So If you find yourself becoming emotional, don’t ignore it! It’s a great chance to cleanse your mind.
Today, I introduce you to the 4 steps you can do yourself to dig into the emotion and feel lighter & happier.

I did get this negative feelings on the night of full moon towards the people who I came across.
I was irritated, because they were the people who victimize themselves and give some attitude & become aggressive silently when their demand is not filled in the way they expected.
I understand that there is a way that I can deal better with them, but I chose not to, because I simply didn’t want to deal with them.
At that moment, all I wanted to do was to run away from those people.
So, I understand that it is a communication issue of myself as well.

Later on that day, I still couldn’t stop myself from being irritated about them, so I decided to cleanse it.

As usual, what I use for a cleanse of my heart is one of my favorite methods EFT. (Emotional Freedom Tapping)
I use my finger to tap some meridian points on my face and torso while speaking up my emotion, and oh wow! Miraculously I can access the deeper blockages of my unconscious mind.

The first step, is to accept your own feelings of “I’m pissed, and I don’t like them.”
There is NO EMOTION THAT YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So don’t judge them, and simply accept as they occur. It’s OK. Keep tapping…

Secondly, try “compassion”. I tried to feel the love for them.
They have their own background that I never know. They grew up in the environment that contributed them to become who they are today.
Their inner child hasn’t got a chance to be healed, and they just try to fill their heart by money or the approval from others.
But after all, we all wish the same, that is “feeling good”.
So I can forgive them…

Well… it works OK,  but I still feel some irritations in my guts. Then I need to dig into other aspects of it.

I know it is sometimes hard to believe, but the most core part of all the people’s heart is made by love.
We experience all the other kinds of emotions other than love while growing up.
But if we can peel off all those extra emotions one by one, what will be left at the core is only love.

So, you having negative emotion indicates that you want to release what is not love, not a part of real you.
I can say so because if that emotion is truly a part of your core, then you should be totally happy with it.
Therefore, the pissed off feeling is simply a sign to inform you the gap between who you really are ( =love) and your current emotion.

Then I told myself “OK,  thank you emotion for letting me know, and you can go now.”
But it doesn’t wanna move so easily… I’m still irritated.

…then goes to the 3rd step… on ②!

 


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日本語 Why is it so important not to “drink TO smile”?
I had an experience that made me swear that.

In the last winter I was looking for a gallon size glass jar, and I found a good one in a grocery store.
A glass jar with a gallon of wine.
I doubted about the quality of the wine, but it was cheaper than buying an empty glass jar, so I bought it anyway.

A few days later.
I was upset. I had so much anger towards a person, and my mind was so irritated. Continue reading


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日本語 I didn’t say on the last one, but what troubled me so much during the meditation was, my body was SO HURTING!!
Some says it’s only the first 3days that it hurts. For some people, it might not be painful at all.
But to me, it was so painful during the whole 10days.

If you have a back problem, you can use the chair. And for people who sit on the floor, lots of cushions are provided, so everyone use them as many as needed to support their body posture.
But still, I am in the same posture for over 10 hours a day, of course it hurts! I thought.
However, the teacher says
“Because your subconscious mind resists to this discipline, your body hurts. Think that your body doesn’t hurt at all when you are watching your favorite movie for 3 hours in a same posture.”
Well, Ok… Continue reading