Are you avoiding negative feelings?



日本語 I thought I wasn’t avoiding it, but as a matter of fact, I was. It was mostly anger, lately.
Because negative emotions are so painfully uncomfortable in our body and heart,  we think we don’t want to feel it.
And of course, we want to focus on “positive thinking”, right?

When the negative emotions occur inside of me, first I recognize it.
“OK, I am feeling angry right now.”
Then I accept it.
“It’s OK to be angry, I still love you.”
Then I dig into the anger.
“Why am I angry? What is this situation making me feel like? Underneath of this anger, what is it that I am really feeling?”
Then I use most of the times EFT to release the anger and go back to the comfortable state of mind.
While this process looks like a perfect solution to my anger, in fact, this is very effective for me to grow, there was something that I was missing. And that was, “sink into the emotion, then feel it completely”.
I actually had this concept in my mind always but wasn’t really understanding how to “feel it completely”.
I thought, because this anger is sitting in me for a while, I must have felt it enough. Now get out!
But I realized lately that I was too focused on getting rid of the negative emotion and over-write it with positive affirmations in order to runaway from the uncomfortable feelings.
But the anger sometimes came back after a while and I ended up feeling hopeless about what to do with the anger.
Then I heard this speech from the radio.
The emotion is there in order to be felt by you. It wants you to be 100% present.
When you are 100% there with the anger, and feel it completely, then finally It is relieved and be gone.
Running way from the pain is the same thing as ignoring the pain. So It keeps bubbling inside of you until you are fully present with it.
So, I tried it even though I was a bit afraid of the process.
First, I started to feel the anger that I was holding onto as a physical sensation in my whole body.
I found that around my chest felt so uncomfortable and suffocating.
In the same time, a part of me was still resisting to feel it.
Then I imagined that this anger is something like a body of water, then I “entered” into the water of anger.
When you “enter”, feel your body’s sensation.
As the radio’s speaker said, “instead of trying to run away from the pain, go towards the pain like an emotional suicide”.
It felt exactly as she said.
Change the direction of your arrow that is going outwards to going directly towards the pain.
When I entered the water of the anger inside of me, my body shuddered for a second because of the uncomfortableness and fear.
But, there I immediately found my heart feeling relieved.
When It was completely felt by me, finally released and be gone.
Categories Everyday Spiritual, UncategorizedTags
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