日本語 I didn’t say on the last one, but what troubled me so much during the meditation was, my body was SO HURTING!!
Some says it’s only the first 3days that it hurts. For some people, it might not be painful at all.
But to me, it was so painful during the whole 10days.
If you have a back problem, you can use the chair. And for people who sit on the floor, lots of cushions are provided, so everyone use them as many as needed to support their body posture.
But still, I am in the same posture for over 10 hours a day, of course it hurts! I thought.
However, the teacher says
“Because your subconscious mind resists to this discipline, your body hurts. Think that your body doesn’t hurt at all when you are watching your favorite movie for 3 hours in a same posture.”
You’ll listen to this lecture every night at the hall, but what vippassana aims, is to cleanse our subconscious mind.
Deep in our mind, we keep the program of fear and limiting beliefs that makes us feel miserable. And by meditating, we release them little by little.
I was very excited by this principle. Because that’s what we are doing with IH and many of other healing modalities!
After all, we all are going towards the same direction with a different way of approaching.
And another big experience for me was that I felt this weird sense that it felt like my mind was detached from my body.
It wasn’t like the out-of-body-experience. I was sitting, in the body.
But somehow, my mind was watching me from outside of my body as if I was watching someone else.
It felt so nostalgic.
The girl was meditating there.
For a moment, I looked back at some scenes of her life and thought how great she’s been doing.
And I felt so much affection towards her.
By this short time phenomenon, I vaguely got the sense of what people say “a spirit lives many lives”.
And this sense was the biggest gain that I got from the 10day meditation.
By this sense, I got another dimension of myself. Which is, I observe myself who observes myself.
It’s hard to explain, but like this.
Me: “OMG! What do I do?”
←Me seeing objectively : “Ok, She is scared.”
←Another me observing this from a much farther point: “It’s getting interesting.”
Finished my vippassana, I went home and back to work.
And at the work, a very disappointing situation occurred.
And an idea that I never imagined before came up in my mind.
With my rational mind, I thought about it, then I told the boss that I was quitting the job.
Even though I was feeling stuck with the job, I would never think that I’d quit the main source of my income for the last 5years without any idea how I’m going to survive.
The fear of losing the stable life that I had.
Living alone in Los Angeles, far away from my family in Japan was instilling so much fear into me everyday.
But now I know. I know that I’m going to die someday.
And I know that I’m going to come back to live a life again.
Then, in this magnificent journey of my spirit, is it really important that I “protect” myself by a shield of fear?
The reason why a spirit comes to this world, is to experience life.
So, it’s probably not so important whether it will succeed or fail when I do things.
What matters to my spirit is, I DO it.
And I remembered the IH session that I took before going to vippassana.
The goal that my subconscious mind chose : “My arm is free.”
That’s right. After that I took vippassana, then became totally free by choosing to quit the job.
And my arm has no pain anymore.
Changing your subconscious mind makes you choose differently than before.
Our life is made by single days.
We make many choices in every day, but most of them is done by our subconscious mind.
And that builds our life.
Are you happy? What part of your life do you wish to change?
I TOTALLY recommend IH and Vippassana!